Internship (Phase 3)
It’s Spring again! And you know what that means…Summer follows Spring! Hooray for Summer! Spring means planning for Summer. Summer beats Spring like Rock beats Scissor (and that is another entry, another time.) But there’s two things I’ve noticed in the spring air as of late; one, many people are out of work, and two, springtime means many young adults and college students are looking for summer jobs or internships. Well I have conjured a brilliant program that will not just strongly benefit the listed persons above, but will help usher in a new great Phase in the Michael Sanders Empire!
If you have not become familiar with my last Phases yet, I would urge you to do some reading on the Tower and the Corner before moving on.
All caught up? Great. Moving on.
Introducing, The Future Michael Sanders Internship Program of America!
Yes, you heard correctly. Follow his every footsteps and gain the knowledge you could never get at a liberal arts college or a fluorescent burnt cubicle. Become a master in design, innovation, invention, and ideation! Feel the winds of creativeness flow through your hair on that Sunday cruise to opportunity. Roost in the Crow’s Nest and keep watch as Michael sleeps. Get deep down in the muck with him as he battles managing multiple clients, a full time job, multiple side project businesses, and a girlfriend.
“What will I learn,” you ask? The real question is, what will you not? Among learning creative writing techniques, dance moves, fight dance poses, and how to not die in a fight with a bear, you will ultimately learn about yourself.
There will be 15 spots and as of now the program is a non-paying internship. But that is if you don’t count staying in the Tower all summer long as payment of course!
Lodging is provided and required. All Future Michael’s will sleep on Michael’s extremely comfortable floor (It’s lined with sheep’s skin and smells like the beard of a wise sherpa chewing on oak leaves.) As for food, fend for yourselves.
Here’s an EXAMPLE of the average day of the Future Michael:
7:00AM: Wake Up! (But don’t wake Michael just yet) Start the day off right by journaling out your dreams from the sleep to which you once belonged.
7:15AM: Work out outdoors in the yard. Move stones, balance on logs, etc.
8:30 AM: Sprint to the the Starbucks on the waterfront (only 1.5 miles) and pick up one of their blueberry croissants (toast them please) and a large white mocha latté with skim milk, light foam.
9:00AM: Wake Michael with a joyful song and his blueberry croissant and white mocha latté.
9:40AM: 5 rotated Future Michael’s will run help run the Corner’s Daily business.
9:45AM: The remainder will leave for the office with Michael. All must fit into one car. It is mandatory. For the HOV.
10:30AM: The office work day begins. Each Future Michael is assigned specific tasks like coffee runner, copier boy/girl, pre-press monkey, email screener, number cruncher, funny youtube video finder, Rock Band set up crew, bookie and look out. Each FMer will responsible to write down and later recite funny things Michael says throughout the work day.
12:30PM: One intern will go out and pick up Chipotle for the crew. Their treat.
1:30PM: Nap time.
2:30PM: Back to work.
3:30PM: Razor Scooter circuit races through the building.
4:00PM: Leave work.
4:45PM: Tandem Bicycle ride through Old Town while handing out random literature found in the back of used bookstores
6:00PM: All FMers meet back at the Tower for food, fun, and fellowship and a large delicious spaghetti dinner by Michael’s girlfriend. *NOTE* Starting up a game of “cup/slap/pass” or “big booty” will result in being terminated from the program.
7:00PM: Practice carpentry.
8:00PM: The Future Michaels practice their fight dancing skills until the sun goes down.
9:00PM: Michael leads the group on a blindfolded trust wake through a dodgy randomly selected neighborhood.
10:00PM: All will curl up on the den floor and practice our creative writing and read each others stories out loud.
11:00PM: Freestyle dance competition followed my Michael’s coveted lessons and secrets on cutting the rug.
12:00AM: Hostile take over drill! Everyone fortifies the Tower and heads to the Situation Room to discuss Tornado, Zombie, and Terror scenarios.
1:00AM: FMers practice Stealth techniques running from roof top to roof top in the city.
3:00AM: Everyone heads back to the Tower for warm glasses of Milk before bed.
3:15AM: Lights out!
Other Events may include:
Bear taming & Camping trip
Digging a well
Marketing and design fair
A mock trial
Writing a penpal
Hunting wild game out of season
So I hope everyone will consider this as an option for their summer. The program is pulsating with opportunity!
I have uploaded a PDF of the application. Make sure you fill in every single detail. I expect to receive applicants in the hundreds, so please mail or email it back to me in a timely manner. Thanks!