Tornadoes, My Nemeses


Several weeks ago, one early Sunday morning, I awoke to a loud single sake of the roof (My room is third story loft. Pretty sweet, I know…). To my surprise, the sky was glooming in through the windows, a neon yellowy green. “Oh freak yes!” I thought to myself as I jumped up and turned my music onto the ominous anthem of the Scorpions, “Here I am, rock you like a Hurricane.” I was pumped! I went to the balcony to make my perch. I was getting ready for a funnelly cloud of fury! But no such thing came, in fact the wind died down all together. Lame!

So you might be thinking, “Why in the world would you pumped for a Tornado? Tornadoes are hella-scary!” Because my friend, me and those Dirt Devilly Demons have a score to settle! In the last recent years, I have had recurring dreams of Tornadoes. And in these dreams I have met my demise 2 out of 3 times.

Tornado Dream # 1 : War is Waged!

The Weather was nasty in the afternoon. I was at my house in Fredericksburg, where we live in a heavily wooded neighborhood and have a long ravel driveway. I Remember vividly going up to my room window and seeing a monster of smoke and light forming into a Tornado. Before I knew it, it was screaming a spinning toward me. A random friend ran into the room and said we had to take cover. We ran over to the next room and sat on the floor against the bed as that stupid idiot of a tornado rip into my house.

Tornado Dream # 2 : The Ambush!

It was a dark early morning, and I was at my first house in Santa Fe, NM. I was going was leaving to go to work before my parents woke (maybe I was sneaking out). The front door violently blew open when I was trying to shut it as I left. “I best hurry to the car,” I thought as the skies became more violent. At my parent’s white Toyota Cryssida, I struggled to unlock the car door, when out of the sky a howling and vengeful Tornado spun me around 180 degrees. I began screaming for my parents, but it was too late. The F4 sucked up me up good. I remember getting a numbing and prickling feeling all over my body. The End. Role Credits. I then Woke up thinking, “Did I just die in that dream?”

Tornado Dream # 3 : TD3:The Final Funnel

This time I was outside in some random backyard with a swimming pool trying to cover up some boxes and trees with blue tarps, in a Electrical Storm. As I was almost done, I started to throw a tarp over this one tree, and then the strength of the wind picked me up by the tarp ten feet off the ground, then put me down. Before I could think to put the tarp down and run inside like a scared child, something picked me up again faster and stronger. I was pulled high above the swimming pool, were I was then struck by lightening and light flashed all around me. Numbness. Role Credits. The End. I woke up thinking, “I died again in Dream World!” Although in this dream I might have technically died by lightening, it seemed all too close to the other ones.

After having these deathly tornado dreams, it has lead me to one conclusion.

I must duel and master this tornado!

I have called these Meteorological Menaces out and demand that we have it out once and for all! Pecos Bill style!

Of course terms would have to be agreed upon in such an epic battle. The Meeting of the Terms and Rules would go something like this;

Mike Sanders: Term 1 - We meet on natural ground. No Tornado Valley!
Tornado: Fine, I’ll come to you…(like I’ve always had! MWAHAHA!!)

Mike Sanders: Term 2 - You can’t run away
Tornado: Term 2 - YOU can’t runaway

Mike Sanders: Term 3 - No throwing of gas tankers.
Tornado: Term 4 - No stupid Bill Paxton antics of any kind.

Mike Sanders: - Term 5 - If you swallow me up and I don’t die after five mintues, I get to have full control over you and therefore you are tamed!
Tornado: Term 6 - If you die, more like WHEN you die, I win.

Mike Sanders: This is my destiny!
Tornado: Prepare to meet your maker.
Mike Sanders: LET’S DO THIS!!!!

Michael J Sanders